[ He draws in a breath. Of course Fai would pick up on that. Gentaro looks at him for a few moments, but it feels like it stretches on forever. ]
I would prefer not to do this out here.
[ He's too exposed like this. Inviting Fai in is a bad idea, but he'd rather show how much of a mess he is to just one person instead of a possible audience.
Gentaro pulls his wrist away before unlocking the door. He steps inside, holding it open as he gazes at Fai. ]
[ The door clicks shut, and Gentaro stays there for a moment or two. He doesn't know what will happen here. For as clever as he is, he isn't sure. It's maddening. He doesn't want to turn around, because the guilt threatens to eat him alive.
He could leave, right now. He could leave Fai waiting and wondering, but then again, Fai would find him. It should be comforting, but it only fills him with cold, sharp dread.
Gentaro turns to face Fai. ]
I told you, didn't I? Nothing good will come of this. If you know what's good for you, you'll give up on me.
Gentaro stays by the door, leaning against it. As he looks at Fai, he crosses his arms, as if to protect himself. ]
Because you deserve much better than I. [ ... ] Because when this ends, we'll return to our homes and never see each other again. I'm far from worth that sort of pain.
[ That smile wraps around his heart and squeezes so tightly that Gentaro can barely breathe. Even more painful is the way Fai says his name. He tightens his arms, too, around himself. It's both a defense and the way he keeps himself from going to Fai and letting him in.
He aches to touch and to be touched, but Gentaro is stubborn, too. He looks frustrated more than anything. ]
We hardly know each other. [ But that's not entirely true, is it? Fai's gotten to know him almost too well. It's why Gentaro had pulled away in the first place. If they continue down this path... ] Why are you so determined about this?
For a very long time, Gentaro has told himself he doesn't need anyone. He's fine on his own, as long as he has his brother. He had been taken from him so abruptly it had left his head spinning and world turned upside down. And he had truly been alone then.
Dice and Ramuda--they've ruined him, haven't they? Because Gentaro realizes just how much he needs other people, people who accept him and care for him. And maybe that's why he'd been so cruel to Fai, because he'd gotten too close to something he recognizes, but something that's terrifying in how new and unknown it is.
What feels right to him? It's very much like Fai's asked him, What do you want? ]
I--
[ He's about to say he doesn't know, but that's not entirely true. Here and now, Gentaro knows this moment is important. There are a million ways to say what he feels and wants, but there are moments in which even an author can't figure them out, and he's still standing by the door.
[ As if he was waiting for some sort of permission, Fai finally stands up, padding his way over to Gentaro. ]
It does, doesn't it? Granted, there's still quite a bit we don't know about one another... but feeling is what matters most.
[ Heavy secrets and difficult pasts can be revealed on their own time, after all. For now, though, Fai pulls Gentaro into a hug, his hand resting on the back of his head. ]
[ All at once, as Fai approaches, Gentaro wants to rush over to him or run. In the end, he just waits, because Gentaro thinks he wouldn't be able to run from Fai this time.
Fai doesn't disappoint, either. The moment Fai wraps him up into his arms and holds him so tenderly, Gentaro exhales a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He's warm and solid, a balm to soothe every part of him that's wounded.
What else can he do but return the hug? His arms slide around Fai, fingers curling around his shirt. ]
I should have expected you would confront me. [ He lets out a quiet, near-breathless laugh. ] You really are stubborn.
... And I'm truly sorry for causing you pain, Fai. I'll do whatever you ask of me to make it up to you.
[ There will be times Gentaro wants to run away. He won't deny that. When he thinks about telling him those secrets he's buried under layers and layers, Gentaro's chest feels tight. When it comes to that, he knows the urge will rear its head. But... there's something stronger to cut through it all: his feelings for Fai.
Gentaro feels off-kilter and slightly dazed, but breathing Fai in and focusing on his warmth helps to center him. ]
After this, I don't think I could, even if I wanted to. [ He pulls back to look up at him, then reaches up to cup his cheek. ] ... You really have done a number on me. I hope you'll take responsibility.
I will. I hope you take responsibility too, giving me these sappy feelings and all.
[ Fai certainly doesn't sound like he minds those sappy feelings, however, the smile on his face radiating in his voice as well. Turning his head to the side, he presses a kiss to Gentaro's palm. ]
[ His breath catches softly at that kiss. It's so gentle, so loving, that he feels his heart squeeze. There's a terrible moment when Gentaro feels a flare of distress, that he doesn't deserve something like this.
It passes as quickly as it comes. Gentaro takes in another breath. ]
[ He doesn't know if that simply means tangled limbs as they fall asleep or more than that, but he'll gladly take it either way. His lips drag across Gentaro's palm as he speaks, his eyes seeking out his face. ]
Though... I hope I can stay longer than just tonight.
[ It's strange just how easily Fai sparks something inside him. Gentaro meets his eyes, brushing his fingers lightly over his lips. As intimately as Fai knows him, it's difficult to not recognize that desire in his eyes. ]
[ The look in Gentaro's eyes is enough to cause butterflies in his stomach, something he doesn't experience often. His own gaze is filled with mirth, along with something more behind all of that. ]
Be careful with words like that, Mister Yumeno. I may never leave.
[ Fai's gaze has nearly the same effect. They've fooled around, yes, and Gentaro had learned that he's very much the type who prefers to give--especially when it comes to kneeling between Fai's legs and making very good use of his clever tongue.
It's easier to give rather than take, because when it comes to himself, he finds himself floundering. Right now, though, he doesn't hesitate as he pulls away from Fai and makes his way over to the bed. He pulls his shirt over his head, and with a look over his shoulder-- ]
[ With the way Gentaro is, Fai can't help but feel surprised when he takes off his shirt like that, his eyes widening just a little before he smiles. ]
Well, when you say it like that...
[ Fai makes his way across the room in a few long strides and all but tackles Gentaro to the bed. He sits, straddling his hips with his knees.
Hopefully his overzealous behavior rids Gentaro of some of his anxiety. ]
[ Gentaro lets out a startled sound, then laughs, clear and bright. As he looks up at Fai, the look on his face is soft, fond, and endlessly affectionate. Needless to say, Fai's taken care of that pesky anxiety.
Honestly, at this point, it shouldn't be too much of a surprise when his cheeks flush at the compliment. ]
... You know, that flattery is far from necessary for me to climb into bed with you.
[ His fingers come up to lightly grasp Gentaro's chin. ]
It's not flattery if I'm telling the truth, now is it?
[ He laughs, soft and genuine, as he leans down, as if he's about to kiss Gentaro. But he doesn't, deciding that he'd rather push Gentaro to make the first move instead.
Fai tilts his head, appraising the way Gentaro looks underneath him. ]
[ If he could hear that laugh and see the way Fai looks at him now every day, Gentaro knows he would never be happier. Truthfully, he once thought that even if he succeeded at his revenge, the consequences would be dire; he'd lose himself in the process, maybe, from the receiving end of a true hypnosis mic.
Fai makes him think there are more outcomes than the bleak ones.
He's so close, too, and Gentaro wraps his arms around his neck. ]
... Well, you are very good at making me blush. I suppose it's not so bad after all.
[ His heart feels so warm, so full, and Gentaro gently pulls him down to press their lips together. ]
[ Smiling against Gentaro's lips, Fai eagerly soaks up the warmth he feels, quickly deepening the kiss as he lightly nips at Gentaro's bottom lip. He feels so nice, so comforting that Fai thinks he could easily melt right into this kiss.
It's strange too, the way Gentaro makes him feel. Fai had gone into this game with the sole purpose of getting enough dates that he could get his wish granted at the very end. He planned to care about nothing else, even if he had to break hearts to do so.
However... the man that showed up late is the one who ended up capturing his own heart. Now, the wish doesn't even matter to him as much. How could it, when he gets to rest his hand against the chest of a man he has real, genuine feelings for as he feels his heart beat beneath his fingers? ]
[ Underneath Fai's palm, Gentaro's heart flutters and races. Fai has become so dear to him so quickly, but that's more than alright. He's always been one to love fiercely and deeply, anyway.
... Love, huh. Or maybe simply something very close to it.
Fai's lips bring him back to the present. Gentaro lets out a soft groan at that nip, but he's not about to let him have all the fun. He buries a hand in Fai's hair, his grip between gentle and firm. He deepens the kiss and runs his tongue along Fai's bottom lip. It's a brief taste of him before he slides his tongue into his mouth, letting out a low sigh and kissing him deeper, more insistent and urgent. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I would prefer not to do this out here.
[ He's too exposed like this. Inviting Fai in is a bad idea, but he'd rather show how much of a mess he is to just one person instead of a possible audience.
Gentaro pulls his wrist away before unlocking the door. He steps inside, holding it open as he gazes at Fai. ]
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That's a line too far.
And so, Fai slips past Gentaro, waiting until the door is closed before finally speaking. ]
Explain yourself.
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He could leave, right now. He could leave Fai waiting and wondering, but then again, Fai would find him. It should be comforting, but it only fills him with cold, sharp dread.
Gentaro turns to face Fai. ]
I told you, didn't I? Nothing good will come of this. If you know what's good for you, you'll give up on me.
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[ Fai could say the same thing himself, after all.
But he wants to know Gentaro's reasons, so Fai sits down in a chair and crosses his legs, looking at Gentaro expectantly. ]
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Gentaro stays by the door, leaning against it. As he looks at Fai, he crosses his arms, as if to protect himself. ]
Because you deserve much better than I. [ ... ] Because when this ends, we'll return to our homes and never see each other again. I'm far from worth that sort of pain.
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You don't know that for sure, Gentaro. I am a wizard, after all.
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He aches to touch and to be touched, but Gentaro is stubborn, too. He looks frustrated more than anything. ]
We hardly know each other. [ But that's not entirely true, is it? Fai's gotten to know him almost too well. It's why Gentaro had pulled away in the first place. If they continue down this path... ] Why are you so determined about this?
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I don’t really know, to tell you the truth. Feelings like this are kind of new to me.
[ But even so, his years of living has honed his intuition. Fai knows when he’s making a mistake, and he doesn’t think that this is one. ]
I want to do what feels right, though. What feels right to you?
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For a very long time, Gentaro has told himself he doesn't need anyone. He's fine on his own, as long as he has his brother. He had been taken from him so abruptly it had left his head spinning and world turned upside down. And he had truly been alone then.
Dice and Ramuda--they've ruined him, haven't they? Because Gentaro realizes just how much he needs other people, people who accept him and care for him. And maybe that's why he'd been so cruel to Fai, because he'd gotten too close to something he recognizes, but something that's terrifying in how new and unknown it is.
What feels right to him? It's very much like Fai's asked him, What do you want? ]
I--
[ He's about to say he doesn't know, but that's not entirely true. Here and now, Gentaro knows this moment is important. There are a million ways to say what he feels and wants, but there are moments in which even an author can't figure them out, and he's still standing by the door.
Softly and honestly-- ]
Being with you feels right.
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It does, doesn't it? Granted, there's still quite a bit we don't know about one another... but feeling is what matters most.
[ Heavy secrets and difficult pasts can be revealed on their own time, after all. For now, though, Fai pulls Gentaro into a hug, his hand resting on the back of his head. ]
I won't lie... I'm happy you feel the same.
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Fai doesn't disappoint, either. The moment Fai wraps him up into his arms and holds him so tenderly, Gentaro exhales a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He's warm and solid, a balm to soothe every part of him that's wounded.
What else can he do but return the hug? His arms slide around Fai, fingers curling around his shirt. ]
I should have expected you would confront me. [ He lets out a quiet, near-breathless laugh. ] You really are stubborn.
... And I'm truly sorry for causing you pain, Fai. I'll do whatever you ask of me to make it up to you.
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[ He smiles softly, the way Gentaro grips onto his clothing indication enough that this was the right move to make. ]
Just don't run away again. As someone who has a tendency to run too, I can only do so much chasing before I give up.
[ After all, it takes a lot of courage for him to build up to confronting someone like this. He almost feels worn out. ]
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[ There will be times Gentaro wants to run away. He won't deny that. When he thinks about telling him those secrets he's buried under layers and layers, Gentaro's chest feels tight. When it comes to that, he knows the urge will rear its head. But... there's something stronger to cut through it all: his feelings for Fai.
Gentaro feels off-kilter and slightly dazed, but breathing Fai in and focusing on his warmth helps to center him. ]
After this, I don't think I could, even if I wanted to. [ He pulls back to look up at him, then reaches up to cup his cheek. ] ... You really have done a number on me. I hope you'll take responsibility.
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I will. I hope you take responsibility too, giving me these sappy feelings and all.
[ Fai certainly doesn't sound like he minds those sappy feelings, however, the smile on his face radiating in his voice as well. Turning his head to the side, he presses a kiss to Gentaro's palm. ]
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[ His breath catches softly at that kiss. It's so gentle, so loving, that he feels his heart squeeze. There's a terrible moment when Gentaro feels a flare of distress, that he doesn't deserve something like this.
It passes as quickly as it comes. Gentaro takes in another breath. ]
Stay with me tonight.
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[ He doesn't know if that simply means tangled limbs as they fall asleep or more than that, but he'll gladly take it either way. His lips drag across Gentaro's palm as he speaks, his eyes seeking out his face. ]
Though... I hope I can stay longer than just tonight.
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You can stay as long as you'd like.
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Be careful with words like that, Mister Yumeno. I may never leave.
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[ Fai's gaze has nearly the same effect. They've fooled around, yes, and Gentaro had learned that he's very much the type who prefers to give--especially when it comes to kneeling between Fai's legs and making very good use of his clever tongue.
It's easier to give rather than take, because when it comes to himself, he finds himself floundering. Right now, though, he doesn't hesitate as he pulls away from Fai and makes his way over to the bed. He pulls his shirt over his head, and with a look over his shoulder-- ]
Don't keep me waiting, now.
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Well, when you say it like that...
[ Fai makes his way across the room in a few long strides and all but tackles Gentaro to the bed. He sits, straddling his hips with his knees.
Hopefully his overzealous behavior rids Gentaro of some of his anxiety. ]
Heh... you're so cute.
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Honestly, at this point, it shouldn't be too much of a surprise when his cheeks flush at the compliment. ]
... You know, that flattery is far from necessary for me to climb into bed with you.
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[ His fingers come up to lightly grasp Gentaro's chin. ]
It's not flattery if I'm telling the truth, now is it?
[ He laughs, soft and genuine, as he leans down, as if he's about to kiss Gentaro. But he doesn't, deciding that he'd rather push Gentaro to make the first move instead.
Fai tilts his head, appraising the way Gentaro looks underneath him. ]
The way you blush is adorable.
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Fai makes him think there are more outcomes than the bleak ones.
He's so close, too, and Gentaro wraps his arms around his neck. ]
... Well, you are very good at making me blush. I suppose it's not so bad after all.
[ His heart feels so warm, so full, and Gentaro gently pulls him down to press their lips together. ]
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It's strange too, the way Gentaro makes him feel. Fai had gone into this game with the sole purpose of getting enough dates that he could get his wish granted at the very end. He planned to care about nothing else, even if he had to break hearts to do so.
However... the man that showed up late is the one who ended up capturing his own heart. Now, the wish doesn't even matter to him as much. How could it, when he gets to rest his hand against the chest of a man he has real, genuine feelings for as he feels his heart beat beneath his fingers? ]
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... Love, huh. Or maybe simply something very close to it.
Fai's lips bring him back to the present. Gentaro lets out a soft groan at that nip, but he's not about to let him have all the fun. He buries a hand in Fai's hair, his grip between gentle and firm. He deepens the kiss and runs his tongue along Fai's bottom lip. It's a brief taste of him before he slides his tongue into his mouth, letting out a low sigh and kissing him deeper, more insistent and urgent. ]
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sorry for taking so long aaaaaa
how dare you (affectionate)
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